


Michael Makes A (Very Panicky) Entrance

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Jake's Party, M/M, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Michael has two moms in this, Michael in the Bathroom, Rich set a fire, deep deep deep angst, expensive headphones, fluff near the end, it isn't specifically important but it is mentioned, mention and depiction of a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22166161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Rich set Jake's house on fire, he didn't feel that there was a reason to leave. If he couldn't get rid of the Squip through the easy method, death had to be the only way. But right before his fate is officially sealed, the door burst open.
Relationships: Michael Mell/Rich Goranski, Rich Goranski & Michael Mell
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	Michael Makes A (Very Panicky) Entrance

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS ANOTHER WARNING  
> This has VERY DEEP angst. It mentions suicide, panic attacks, the feeling of hopelessness, etc. If you aren't comfortable with that, PLEASE do not read this. I repeat, do NOT read this.  
> There is fluff in the near end.  
> ALSO, this is a fanfiction in which Jeremy never ruined the play and his Squip never went psycho. (for plot convenience)

Michael had been doing a lot of research ever since Jeremy had started pretending that he didn't exist. It was a miracle that Michael's presence was even acknowledged during Jake's party. But as it was quite obvious to tell, the miracle did not stretch out onward. Michael had been left again, and this time, he was sure that it was for real.

~~_Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser._~~

The word was on instant repeat over and over again. 

~~_Jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous_~~

It was like when your music glitched and played the same annoying lyric over and over again, except Michael couldn't just switch the radio off. The switch was glued to the "on" side and it didn't matter how strong he was, he just couldn't pull it to the "off" side.

He could hear the noise outside becoming louder and louder until it overwhelmed him and pushed his defenseless body to the ground. It felt like he was being kicked over and over again. The banging, clanging, screaming... It was starting to give him a migraine. And it was even worse to think about the fact that while the knocking got even louder and louder, Jeremy was just outside, laughing and flirting with girls, pretending like their twelve years of friendship didn't matter. As if he was an imaginary friend who had faded after time. After growing up. After the happy-go-lucky dream ended.

He didn't even realize he was crying until he brought his hands up to his face and felt the water running down his cheeks. After about twenty minutes, he finally got enough will power to stand up and look himself in the mirror. He was a mess, to say the least. His glasses were crooked on his face, his hair was a tangled mess, his face was red, and his eyes were puffy. It felt like he had been in there for days, when in reality it had been barely any time at all. The voices in his head were screaming at him, yelling at him to get up and wash himself off, but what really happened was Michael fell to the floor again, pushed his glasses lazily up the ridge of his nose and cradled himself with his arms, trying to silence his sobs.

_~~Loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner, loner~~_

The truth was, if Michael had disappeared right at that moment, nobody would have noticed, and even if they did, they wouldn't care. He made no difference to the world, so why couldn't he just off himself and get it over with? It would save him a lot of trouble. It wasn't that it would be better for him to die. It was that if he _was to die_ , nothing would change. That's what hurt him the most. Nobody would notice, worry, or care. **But maybe it was better that way?**

_~~Stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner~~ _

Maybe he could escape out the window by the bathroom door. He could go home, walk down the steps to his cold, dark, now much lonelier than before basement. He'd light a blunt, get high, pull out his stash of 7Up Gold drinks, play World Of Warcraft with his online friends... pretend that none of this happened.

But instead of standing up to leave, Michael just sat there, sobbing into his hands. At that point, his glasses had completely fallen off his face. Everything was blurry, but he didn't care. Nothing made sense. How could Jeremy leave him just for some super-powered winter green tic tac? They had been friends since kindergarten! How could he leave like that and pretend they had no history? 

~~_Flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo, flying solo_~~

_Michael could remember the moment he met Jeremy like it was yesterday. They had been complete opposites, and yet they were so similar at the same time. Jeremy had walked into class crying, and every second the loud, obnoxious, annoying crying was getting louder. At one point, one of the kids couldn't take it anymore and screamed at Jeremy to shut up, and for the first time in those whole three hours, he did. But something was biting at the back of Michael's mind. He wasn't exactly sure what had possessed him, but in that moment, he felt bad. So at recess, Michael approached Jeremy and asked him what was wrong. Jeremy had said that he was afraid because he didn't know anybody._

_At that moment, Michael reached his arm out, took Jeremy's hand in his, and shook his hand. He put on his brightest smile and said, "Hi! I'm Michael Mell. It's nice to meet you." They spent the rest of recess pushing each other on the swings, and when the bell rang and they both started walking back to class, Michael put his hand on Jeremy's shoulder and said, "Now you know someone!" They had been friends ever since._

~~_All by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself, all by myself_ ~~

Michael was hyperventilating. He wanted to scream, shout, bang his fists on the door and beg Jeremy to come back. Beg Jeremy not to leave him alone. But he didn't. He just rocked himself back and forth, whispering curses as tears kept felling, replacing the dry ones. Michael had no idea a human could cry _that_ much. He was shaking at that point, practically whimpering.

He remembered what his moms had told him and began to take deep breaths. After ten minutes of trying to relax, he shakily pushed himself up from the ground and reached towards the doorknob. But, when he touched it, something was weird. Different. Wrong

~~_Heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat, heat_~~

Once he thought about it, Michael realized that it wasn't just the doorknob that was weirdly hot. It was the whole door. He pressed his ear to the door and that's when he heard the voices that he was certain wasn't his imagination. There were people yelling, the sounds of footsteps running rapidly across the floor tiles. Michael knew he had to leave to. The fire department had come to his school enough for him to know that it wasn't just drunks having a rough night. It was a fire. A roaring, flame-spitting fire. But for some reason, the idea of joining the crowd seemed even worse than being swallowed by the red and orange flickers of light and heat. If he left the safety of the bathroom, he'd have to face Jeremy, and he didn't feel like he was ready. So he waited, sweat rolling down his forehead. The heat that was encasing the room dried his tears a little too much, leaving his face feeling like he'd been sunburned. But the moment smoke seeped through the crack at the bottom of the door, he knew he needed to run.

Taking a leap of faith, Michael busted the door open, covered his mouth with his hand, and tried to make his way to the stairs. The only problem? The stairs, at that point, were burning balls of fire. He'd have to find a new exit. Michael turned on his heel and started to frantically search for a window, balcony, or second staircase. The only problem? The whole entire second floor was already almost covered in fire. Finally, though, Michael found a door that wasn't covered in ashes. As quickly as he could, he rammed the door open, and without even looking to see if the room he was entering was safe, he slammed his body into the room and shut the door. After catching his breath, Michael looked up and practically sunk when he realized that it, too, was licked in fire. 

He was in what seemed to be a bedroom of some kind. There was a master bed, a bookshelf, a crying boy in the center, and a desk. Wait, a crying boy? No, not crying... Screaming.

_~~"GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"~~_

Michael wasn't 100% sure what the boy, now at least half identified as Rich Goranski, was screaming at, but either way, he seemed very passionate about it. Michael slowly walked closer and closer to Rich. He would say that he was quiet, but he most certainly was not. He was coughing and choking at the smoke in the air the whole time. He tried his best to banish his anxieties to the back of his mind. He wanted to pretend that he wasn't afraid. That he didn't want to just walk straight into the fire and end it all. That he wasn't horrified about the fact that he was walking towards the kid who tormented him all throughout high school.

Michael wasn't even sure why he was making such an effort towards being helpful to the one who had bullied him and made his life a living hell. There was just something about Rich laying there. He looked overwhelmed, afraid, horrified... Something that Michael was all too familiar with due to his social anxiety. Rich looked fragile, as if talking too loudly could completely shatter with him.

"Hey..." Michael breathed out, kneeling down next to Rich and putting his hand on his shoulder. At that moment, Michael realized that Rich was shaking as if he was out in negative 14 degree weather. There were already burn marks all down the side of his body, and he was sobbing, not even bothering to wipe away his tears as he screamed the same sentence over and over again.

~~_"GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD_~~

 ~~~~"Hey... Hey, it's alright," Michael awkwardly ran his fingers through Rich's hair, trying his best to ignore the hellfire surrounding them. "We need to get out of here," he whispered. Rich didn't answer, though. He just kept shouting, crying, whimpering... It was too much for Michael to watch, so he looked away.

Michael shakily stood up and tried to ignore the feeling that his legs would give out. He pulled Rich up, only realizing at that moment how truly small he was. He looked like a child standing there. Michael shook the thought away and started to weakly pull Rich around with him, trying his best to find an exit. Finally, after what felt like forever, Michael found the balcony. 

He felt as if he was about to collapse to the ground, but he tried his best to ignore that fact, instead focusing on Rich, who had stopped shouting at that point. He was silent besides the occasional cough, wheeze, or sob. Michael wasn't 100% sure how to get them both down safely, but the heat from the house was rising. It felt as if the whole entire place would explode if they weren't careful enough. So as quickly as Michael could, he stepped over the railing and stood at the very edge of the balcony. He reached on arm over and took his hand in Rich's, trying to ignore the idea that if he fell, they'd both die. 

"Hey, come on. You have to help me out here. Put on leg over the railing... Yeah, like that. I've got you, don't look down, okay? Just look at me. Bring your other leg over," Michael whispered, trying his best to keep his anxieties at bay. Through all of the action, he had forgotten all about Jeremy. The only thing he could think of was getting him and Rich out of the house before the inferno blaze took over everything. Rich started to slide to stand next to Micheal, but before he could fully get over the railing, Rich looked back at the house. Michael saw all of the color drain from his face as Rich started to scream again, this time even louder than before, yelling at some invisible person or thing to "get out of his mind". 

"Shhh... Hey, it's okay. Don't look back, alright? Just focus on me," Michael soothed, trying to get Rich to focus on escaping once more. But when Rich looked Michael in the eyes, a chill went down Michael's back. His eyes were lifeless yet afraid, dull yet horrified. "Just leave me. Let me stay here and die. Let _it_ stay here and die with me," Rich whimpered, tears starting to soak his cheeks once more.

"Hey, look at me, okay? I'm not leaving you here to die," Michael pulled Rich down to stand next to him and then began to slowly walk along the edge of the balcony, one hand grasping Rich's and the other hand clinging onto the railing. Micheal breathed in deeply before looking Rich in the eye. "I'm going to climb down to the ground. There are enough sharp edges for foot and hand holds. When I tell you to, I need you to jump. I'll catch you, I swear on my life," Rich nodded, lip quivering as he shakily let go of Michael's hand.

Michael took a deep breath before gripping to the wall of the house and slowly starting to make his way down. He was shaking in fear, horrified by the idea that the wall he was holding would catch on fire and kill him along with it. Luckily, though, Michael got down safely, not counting the small burn marks from making his way through the house earlier.

He looked up at Rich and held out his hands. "Jump! Now!" After a few seconds of very obvious doubt, Rich jumped and Michael caught him. Almost immediately, Michael let go of Rich so he was standing up at least half way straight and then began to quickly lead him away. Suddenly, though Michael felt Rich go limp next to him.

Michael looked around frantically, searching to see how far away his car was parked. It wasn't too far away, so Michael very quickly picked Rich up (he was small enough to do so) and ran him over to his PT Cruiser. Michael pulled the door open and laid Rich in the back seats before very quickly making his way to the driver's seat and starting the car. He started directions to the nearest hospital and drove as quickly as he could. He could only hope that it wouldn't be too late.

* * *

School was finally over for the day, and Michael had survived the eight periods of class. He kept his hood up and headphones on whenever he walked through the hallway and tried his best to ignore whenever he past Jeremy in the hallway. He was already aware that Jeremy wouldn't notice him. It had been going on long enough for Micheal to at least understand that.

Micheal had walked to school that morning due to one of his moms borrowing his car for work, and at that moment he was seriously regretting agreeing to walking because now he'd have to walk the thirty minute walk to the hospital, too. Ever since the fire, Michael had visited Rich every single day, both on weekdays and weekends. He'd do his homework while sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair and would eat his lunch at the table that sat next to Rich's hospital bed. Michael would stay until visiting hours were over, and sometimes he'd even attempt to beg to stay longer (sometimes he even won, due to the fact that he used his mom being a nurse as an excuse). Michael wasn't completely sure why he kept going to visit. Rich still wasn't awake, even after two weeks, and some of the nurses weren't sure if he ever would wake up, but Michael had hope. He'd talk to Rich, too. The one sided conversation topics varied. Sometimes they would be serious and sad, like Michael venting about Jeremy or Michael talking about his social anxiety. Other times, Michael would talk about unimportant stuff, like the fact that 7/11 didn't have a cherry slushy that morning, or that the cafeteria sold chicken nuggets that afternoon despite saying that they'd serve macaroni & cheese on the menu. Not that it mattered anyways, though, seeing as Michael always brought sushi to school for lunch.

When Micheal finally got to the hospital, he signed in, greeted the nurses he saw in the hallway, and pushed the door open. He sat down at a chair, told Rich about his day, did his homework, called his moms to tell them he'd be at the hospital until ten again. Michael left, got Panda Express, and came back to eat it. He chuckled, told Rich that he wished he could share the food he bought. Michael threw away the trash and moved the chair closer to Rich's hospital bed, staring down at Rich's burned face. And for a reason Michael couldn't explain even if he tried, Michael began to cry. He apologized for not being able to keep him awake and safe to the end.

And for the first time in two weeks, Rich responded. He squeezed Michael's hand, leaving Michael shocked and sort of in a state of distress. "Hey... Buddy... You awake?" Michael whispered in awe. After a few minutes of intense silence, Rich's eyes flashed open. Michael immediately stood up, hand still firmly squeezing Rich's as he yelled for the nurse. The nurses came in and ushered Michael away from the hospital room, much to Michael's dismay. As if he was hoping to be let back in that night, he sat right outside the hospital room's door, wiping tears off of his face with the sleeve of his hoodie.

After an hour or two, one of the nurse's came out and told Michael that Rich would have to be tested for the rest of the night, so he'd have to visit the next day. Michael nodded and signed out before beginning his long, silent trek back home, his mind off in a distant place. Despite his headphones being on, there was no music coming through. He just couldn't handle any noise at the time. Rich had squeezed his hand... He had woken up. Why did that make Micheal feel warm and queasy inside? The last time he had felt that way was in middle school when a boy had kissed him. It had been quick, and for one week, Michael had thought it was true love. But then Monday came, and Michael had overheard the boy calling him a fag. That was the end of that. He cried for five months. Jeremy had to bring icecream and slushy's every time he came over for the rest of the year, because at one point in the hangout, Michael would break down and start venting about that experience. 

Michael shook the thoughts to the back of his head. That little boy was gone now, and so was Jeremy. And it was starting to seem like it was better that way. Michael opened the door to his house, said hello to his parents, and then raced down the steps to his basement. He shook off his backpack, pulled his sweatshirt off, flung it to his chair, and collapsed onto his bed. He fell asleep not too long after.

* * *

The next day, Michael couldn't focus in class for the life of him. He got the equation "seven times eleven" wrong, put all of his commas in the wrong spaces, sat down at the wrong spot at lunch and almost got pummeled, and he got lost in the parking lot. Finally though, the mess of a day ended and he drove himself to the hospital. He signed in, marched into the hospital room, and stood by the hospital bed. "Hey, Rich. You doing okay?" Michael whispered, dropping his backpack to the ground and sitting down in the chair. It wasn't until Rich responded that Michael realized he wasn't asleep.

"I feel like hell and have third degree burns going down half of my body, but other than that, yeah. I'm doing pretty well," Michael winced at the reference to the fire. The memories of that were still replaying over and over again in his head, and it hurt to have someone mention it out loud. Rich must have noticed, because he changed the subject.

"I could hear you, y'know? Every time you spoke to me, I could hear. I just couldn't move my body. I had no control over my own limbs, and damn, that sucked. I'm sorry about Jeremy, too. It's my fault. If I had never told him about the Squip, you would have never been in this situation" "It's okay, dude. If Jeremy had never taken that wintergreen tic tac in the first place, there wouldn't have been a problem," Micheal shrugged. Rich tried to laugh, but he ended up breaking out into coughs instead. "Hey! Are you okay! Do you need a nurse?" Michael began to panic. What happened?? What was going on??? "I'm just coughing, Mell, calm down. My lungs are still a little damaged."

Michael stared at Rich in wonder for a few seconds before absentmindedly asking, "Do you have a lisp?" Rich's face immediately went completely red. He seemed like he was about to answer, but before he could, he broke out into a spasm, saying the same words he had said the night of the fire. 

~~_"Get out of my head, get out of my head. get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head. get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head. get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head. get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head. get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head,"_~~

"Hey, hey! Rich? Buddy?! Do you need me to get the nurse," Micheal, out of reflex, reached forward and grabbed Rich's hand with both hands, squeezing tightly and searching Rich's face frantically. "Red-" "Huh?" "Dew..." "What are you trying to say? Talk to me!" "Mountain dew red," "What about it?!" "I need it!" Rich finally breathed out. Micheal immediately began searching through his backpack, shifting his hand around until he gripped the bottle he had gotten from Spencer's Gifts a week back. "Here. Have it!"

Rich drank it and after a few seconds of frantic, pained screaming, he went limp. At first, Michael panicked. He thought that he had killed Rich with mountain dew. He screamed for the nurses, and just like when Rich woke up, Michael was ushered out.

* * *

The next five weeks were another blur. Michael fell behind in his classes, got lost in the parking lot at least nine times, and accidentally forgot to plug his headphones in when he listened to music in the hallway. The Friday five weeks after the day Rich, Michael pushed his way through the hospital room door. He had no slushy, no sushi, and no homework, so he just sat there, staring at Rich. Michael didn't even notice when he gripped Rich's hand and scooted his chair even closer to the bed. "I'm sorry," Micheal whispered as a tear dripped down his cheek. _A tear? Since when was he crying?_

~~_Crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying_~~

Michael didn't remember the exact point in time when he sat down on the side of Rich's hospital bed. He didn't remember the exact point in time when he leaned over Rich, or when he searched Rich's face for any sign of life, or when he cupped Rich's cheek, or when he stopped crying. All he knew was that when Rich's eyes flicked open, Micheal froze up in the position he was in. He was looking down at Rich with soft eyes, hand cupping his cheek, eyebrows furrowed. Rich didn't even have time to process things. Micheal immediately flung his arms around Rich in a hug. "I'm sorry! What happened? Why did the mountain dew red do that to you? Did you know that would happen? Why would you do that to yourself???"

Rich just chuckled, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through Michael's hair (since when were they friends?), "It was still there..." Micheal pulled himself up so he was hovering just over Rich and looked him in the eye, confusion piercing his expression. "What was still there?" "The Squip. It was yelling at me... screaming at me... I don't know how to explain it. But mountain dew red deactivates the Squip, and seeing as you constantly talk about the retro drinks you have, I assumed you'd have some."

Micheal exhaled in relief, "Thank god. I thought I killed you, Rich, you know that? It was horrifying." Rich laughed, "So, you missed me that much?"

Micheal went bright red and averted his eyes, sitting up straight and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Of course not. I was just worried. Who wouldn't be? I don't want to be charged for murdering my classmate. I still haven't gotten to college yet," "Who wants to do that?" "Me! For your information, guys like _me_ are going to be super cool in college. "Is that so?" "Oh, yes, it sure is."

Rich smirked and tried his best to sit up straight. "Sure, whatever you say, Mell. Just admit it; you missed me." "And what if I did?" It was Rich's turn to avert his eyes, "Well, that's a change in character," Micheal and him chuckled. "So; what have I missed?" "In what way?" "School wise." Micheal explained everything that happened and handed Rich a giant binder full of homework. "I've already done some of it, but not all of it is finished, so don't assume it is."

Rich smiled brightly, "Thanks!" Rich outwardly winced, and Michael assumed it was because of the lisp. If he had something encouraging to say, he would have, but he never was too good with supportive comments, so he just ignored it and moved on. They chatted until visitor hour was over, and as Michael was packing up his shit and beginning to push the chair into the desk, Rich gripped Michael's hand and smiled shyly. "You'll be back tomorrow, right? It's kind of lonely being here alone," "Bright and early, I swear. You'll barely notice the loneliness at all. Just get some rest." Just as Michael began to let go, Rich suddenly pulled Micheal towards him and kissed him.

It was quick, but sweet, and kind of embarrassing, since Micheal hadn't been expecting it in the slightest. When Rich pulled away, he gestured towards the door and smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Micheal stood there in front of the hospital bed for a few beats, completely dumbfounded, before getting himself together. "Tomorrow then," he nodded, slung his bag around his shoulder, pulled his headphones up to his ears and strode out of the hospital room, a spring in his step.

Jeremy might be gone, but somehow, Michael traded that friendship for something better. A Rich Goranski. And maybe, just maybe, a relationship. 

**Author's Note:**

> I spent pretty much a whole entire day on this lmao (with breaks and interruptions, of course)  
> Notice how I never once used the word "depression" or "depressed" to describe Michael. Its because he obviously is not a depressed character and I don't headcanon him as one.


End file.
